The land of bip

Ever noticed how so many things in the world bip at you these days?
Now I know where it all started: the land of bip.
Japan has so many things that bip at you that life here is one long bip-fest.
In our kitchen there are no less than six things that bip:
• The rice cooker bips to tell you that the rice is ready.
• The breadmaker bips to tell you that the bread is ready.
• The gas stove bips to tell you that the flame has gone out.
• The fridge bips to tell that that you’ve left the door open.
• The kerosene heater bips after an hour for some reason, and also at various other times for reasons that remain a mystery.
• The microwave oven bips when it’s finished microwaving the food.
• Even the oven toaster, not to be outdone, has a little bell that chings merrily when the timer finishes (NB: not strictly a bip).
• Next door in the bathroom, meanwhile, the washing machine bips when it’s finished a wash, or to tell us off for leaving the lid open.
All this leads to farcical situations like during dinner last week when we were all sitting at the table and something started beeping but nobody could work out what it was. We had to send one of the kids on a tour of the kitchen:
• Freshly cooked rice? Nope.
• Freshly baked bread? Uh-uh.
• Hot food in microwave? Not this time.
• Washing finished? Don’t be stupid, it’s dinner time.
• Stove off? Check.
• Fridge door closed? Of course.
• Must be that silly heater again…
etc etc etc.
Or like the other day, when I was standing in front of the fridge minding my own business when TWO lots of bipping went off SIMULTANEOUSLY, which really got me confused.
It turned out that I had both the door and the vegetable drawer open at the same time, naughty me.
So I’m thinking that one day soon when I’ve got nothing better to do I’m going to taunt the fridge by opening up the door and BOTH drawers all at the same time and just stand there listening to the cacophony of indignant bipping it serves up. And maybe I’ll blow the stove out and cook up some rice and some bread and heat up some food and leave the washing machine lid open and turn on the heater too, just for fun. And maybe I’ll set my watch and phone alarms off as well, why not.
Um… maybe I should get out more often.